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Time:12:31 pm

so yeah i haven't written in here for a while so i thought maybe i would start this up again.. a lot has happened.. i'm in my second semester of college and i still have no idea what i want to do with my life, which is ok i guess but everyone else knows what there doing and i just feel like im lost.. so i work at fuddruckers but not for long because im going to quit soon, i got another job anyway.. so yeah im really lonely right now cause chuck is in maryland for eight weeks.. i seriously have never felt this alone before, its really weird.. i mean i guess its just that i've never been away from him for this long in two and a half years.. i miss him a lot.. sometimes i wonder if i even have friends anymore.. i used to be able to just call people up and hang out but it doesnt work like that anymore.. everyone has moved on and goes to school and work.. i always wonder what would happen if i still talked to certain people, i dont know if my life would be better or worse.  i kind of regret losing touch with my friends. i mean im not saying that anyone is to blame but i feel like i could have done more to try and stay close with my friends.  now i just feel akward around some people like i dont even know them anymore. everyones priorities have changed over the past two years.  everyone started college and working and got boyfriends and new friends.  i just wish i could go back to the past and see what went wrong.. i used to have this set group of friends and now its scattered. i guess thats what happens when you graduate high school and have to grow up.. but then i feel like its just me? and my friends.  its just hurts i guess to feel like you dont have that many people to confide in and talk to.  and to feel like you dont have that many people that are there for you anymore. i mean the friends that i still am close with i am very thankful for.  i wouldnt trade them for the world.  i guess i shouldnt dwell on the past though.  i want to make an effort to talk to people more but then i feel like its just a waste of time.  oh well i guess just with chuck not here i feel like i have no one.  i am so thankful for my family though.  they are always here for me.. especially my mom, she is seriously my best friend.  i can tell her anything and she respects me.  i cant believe how fast taylor is growing up.. in the summer she was still a little girl playing with dolls and now she is turning into a teenager.  me and her are closer too.  now that she isn't that immature anymore i can actually talk to her and we dont fight anymore.  i like that she comes to me with her problems.  a couple years ago i never thought me and her would become as close as we are.  i wish my brother and ashley would have moved closer but i am glad that they were able to find an apartment. i really have nothing else to say for now

<3

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Time:01:13 pm
Current Mood:amusedamused
hey J O U R N A L

sup reggin

peej smells really bad right now.. im sitting next to her in bus management and she reeks

SIKE

but really..

i'm so excited that it's the wEEk end

peej wants me to believe that shes not writing about me, but she probably is

hey sabe

i like to singa bout the moona n the juna n the springa
i like to singa bout a sky of blue or a seat for twoa
i ay lika too i ay lika to SIIIIIIIINGG

*i like to singa* (deep voice)

scooby dooby doo where are you






PEEJ, get a shower
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Time:10:47 pm
je suis malade.
j'ai mal au tete et l'estomach.
boo :(

le practique de football american est comme ci comme ca

melanie est casse sa doigt

je t'adore ma bebe<3

je suis tres fatigue

au revoir<3
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Time:11:02 am

best friends means i pull the trigger
best friends
means you get what you deserve
</3

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Current Music:save us -cartel
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Subject:all we're left with is memories..
Time:06:32 pm
Current Mood:hotburnt
hey journal i missed you :)

so anyways.. i don't really know what to write.. a lot has happened.. finally in my senior year and have no idea what i'm doing with my life, what college i want to go to, and what i want to do.. and i'm really sick of people asking me about it.. i'll eventually figure it out. so much has changed.. my whole group of friends has problems, but i really don't care anymore.. i mean if you want to ruin relationships over nonsense then go right ahead.. growing up is scary.. this year is so much different than last year.. it's like everything that happened last year no one remembers.. no one cares.. i just walk aimlessly down the halls and don't talk to anyone because i don't care.. popularity doesn't matter anymore.. everyone is fussing over homecoming and being fake so that people will vote for them and then after it's over they will never talk to you again.. to be honest i don't really care, the only reason i'm running for it is because i'll regret it if i don't.. it seems like everyone has grown up a lot.. i really don't even hear any gossip anymore nor do i care about hearing gossip.. i can't wait to get out of steel valley so that i can never see half the people there again.. 

anyways.. i am glad to have my friends.. i really wouldn't trade them for anything.. i'm really glad i have charlie too.. he's seriously like my best friend like i can tell him anything and trust him with anything.. i love him so much.. i miss the summer of '05 so much.. i think it was the best summer of my life.. like i look back on it and don't regret anything i did.. the whole thing was fun.. i was never bored..,like ever.. and then the fall and winter.. our whole crew hung out all the time at mandis or chucks and it was so much fun.. and then everything crumbled and everyone hated eachother.. it's really sad if you knew the whole story.. i miss those days..

but yeah that's all for now


<3court
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Time:12:40 pm
wee li'l boots ;)
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Subject:b double e double r u n
Time:09:27 am
this was a really mean journal entry, deleted due to not wanting anyone to question me.
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Time:09:43 am
happy halloween bitches..

fun weekend...

saw two was sweet

corpse bride is not..

new cell phone

new number

i love jpeazy<3

i don't want to work tonight

three day week next week

i did the monster mash today...you are all jealous

elf is sweet

jps birthday is on thursday

dougs is on sunday

durp durp

i love you <3

i love bacon

i love knockies

i love lamp

good bye <3
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Time:09:54 am
yeah saw 2 tonight.. pretty excited
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Current Music:ready -the starting line
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Subject:yeah
Time:09:30 am
Current Mood:indescribableindescribable
yeah haven't updated this in a while..probably because my internet doesn't work for some reason and i don't know how to fix it.. pretty much been workin lately..hangin out with chuck doug and luteran.. thats about all.. i really hate when my friends fight over really dumb shit.. you shouldn't get mad over dumb stuff like that.. you're supposed to be best friends ..stop being petty and forgive eachother for whatever you're fighting about .. i don't even know what it is.. i'm not even on anyones side... i think it's stupid.. but yeah i'm excited because saw 2 comes out tomorrow.. and i want to see it soooooo bad.. the first one might be my favorite movie.. yepp.. that's all for now
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